Last night, I called her after several moments of indecision. Speaking to her, I found that she was troubled by her work. She is worried whether she is doing the right thing. She has this sense of uneasiness deep within her. I could understand what she was telling. Behind all those problems of her, I could sense her innermost fear of insecurity. She's trying hard to overcome it, yet there have been times when she has let it engulf her. I sensed it in her voice yesterday.

Staying in different cities has been beneficial, instead of being detrimental. My feelings have been growing stronger and stronger. I am beginning to understand that there is more to life. It could be said that I am also trying to distance myself from her. I have greatly avoided going to the city where she's living now, despite pressures from all sides. All my best friends and relatives have been pestering me to come there; that I would have a wonderful time there. I had resisted thier pleas till now. But I fear I am fighting a losing battle.

Every night I lie in bed, holding her close in my dreams. Thinking of all the times that we've had and off all the times that we'll have, I awake up every morning. Still there seems to be a portending storm in the days to come. Maybe there'll be a silver lining in those dark gloomy clouds. That hope gives me the strength to carry on day after day...